A NEWPORT mum who has been diagnosed with cancer three times talks of her struggles of fighting with the illness.
Samantha Skelton, from Caerleon, was diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2021, when she was told by doctors that she had most likely two years to live.
The mum-of-three was diagnosed with lung, lymph, plura and spinal cancer and it is the third time she has suffered from the disease.
Ms Skelton said: “The challenges are endless, the mental health implications of accepting you are dying and the emotionally draining practicalities of arranging your home, possessions and finances and last wishes so nobody is too burdened when they are grieving.
“I feel like a burden, I get annoyed at that sometimes because if my partner (Simon) has been in work all day and I'll still be cooking in the kitchen at the end of the day.
“I don’t eat because I feel really sick, so I question why am I doing this and then I think well it’s a fair distribution of work really or is it because it’s a stereotype.”
Ms Skelton describes the challenges of living with terminal cancer while balancing daily activities such raising her children and trying to maintain some financial independence.
She added: “As your body is failing you have less energy to deal with it. I am not frightened of dying but I have never realised the process of dying would be so hardcore.
“Practicalities are really stressful. When you have treatment, you wonder how you are going to get there and back, who is going to look after you and do things around the house.
“I have driven myself to chemo before and then come back out and felt too unwell to drive home.”
Sam Skelton with her children Molly (L) Joe (C) and Abra (R) before hair loss. Picture: Sam Skelton & Marie Curie
Marie Curie have urged that palliative and end of life care must be included in the upcoming 10-year woman and girls health plan.
The charity is also investigating how gender impacts palliative and end of life care experience in Wales after Ms Skelton was upset at per prognosis in from a male health professionals.
Bethan Edwards, Marie Curie senior policy manager, said: “Awareness of how gender influences a person’s health and care journey is increasing in Wales, as we’ve seen with Welsh Government’s recent commitment to a dedicated women and girl’s health plan for the NHS.
“But until now, there has not been much consideration or exploration of how gender may be impacting someone’s experience at the end of their life.
Sam on her wedding day and now. Picture: Sam Skelton & Marie Curie
“For women to continue to put others’ needs above their own while they are living with a terminal diagnosis, and during their final moments, shows the impact of a lifetime of navigating a system and a world in which they are expected to take on the majority of caring responsibilities.
“This doesn’t just impact the women, but also impacts men and people of all genders in society.
"Our research has suggested that gender norms and stigmas around dying are impacting how different people talk about death, if and how they seek and accept support, and ultimately, how they are shaping preferences and outcomes.
“We need to proactively eliminate harmful gender norms associated with seeking and accepting help and open up conversations about death and dying to ensure more people feel comfortable talking about the support they need and what they want at end of life.”
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel