THE heartbroken boyfriend of murdered pregnant teenager Nikitta Grender said her killer – his own cousin – has ruined his life and torn his family apart.

Nineteen-year-old Ryan Mayes said he felt like his heart had been ripped out when he was told the devastating news that his childhood sweetheart and unborn child Kelsey-May had died following a fire at their home on February 5, 2011.

But to later learn that eight-months pregnant Miss Grender, 19, was raped and murdered by his own cousin, Carl Whant, was almost too much to bear for the former window salesman, who was only 17 years old at the time.

He has been left traumatised by the loss of his “whole world” and deeply shaken by the web of lies Whant, 28, spun, during a harrowing month-long trial where intimate details of the couple’s relationship were revealed.

He now has trouble sleeping, can’t work, hardly goes out and takes anti-depressants and other medication to help him cope.

He also feels betrayed by Whant’s side of the family who, he says, are still supporting him months after he was jailed for life, with a minimum term of 35 years.

He said: “When it first happened they were straight up my house saying they were here for us.

“Now to hear that they are sticking by him, sending him money in prison, visiting him – these people are supporting him. I know it’s their family, their son, and it’s hard, but it feels like they are out there condoning what he’s done.

“He knew how precious she (Nikitta) was to me and how happy I was to be having Kelsey-May. He was close to me and then he took it all away.

“I was pleased with the sentence, but I still think the death sentence would be best for someone like him because of what he’s done.

“If I am alive on the day he comes out I will kill him for the pain he has put us all through.

“It is never ending for me, it’s always on my mind. I wanted to set my life up with Nikitta and he took it all away.

“I will never get over it. I go past the house all the time and the best thing for it would be to pull it down. I don’t want to see it anymore.

“My mother helps – I couldn’t even bath or dress myself in the beginning. I don’t like going outside and don’t like seeing people.

“I haven’t been back to work since, I can’t get it off my mind.

“It (the appeal) is just another thing – can he do anything more to me and my family?

“I want him to die, he just doesn’t stop.”

Touching possessions that survived the fire

MR MAYES met Miss Grender when he was just 13 years old at a local park.

They exchanged numbers and started a relationship shortly after.

They had their ups and downs, he said, and after a short time apart got back together when he was 17 and moved into their first home in Corporation Road, before moving to their Broadmead Park flat.

They were happy, he said, and were excitedly looking forward to the birth of their first child Kelsey-May, who was expected just days after his 18th birthday – a day now forever tainted by his loss.

Now all Mr Mayes has left of his first love is a few possessions which survived the fire that Whant set to try and cover his tracks.

They include Miss Grender’s diary and some notes she wrote to him.

Horrific sight – then I was arrested

MR MAYES was arrested as a suspect in the murder of his girlfriend and unborn child and held in a cell for 13 hours.

Then he had to come face to face with his girlfriend’s killer when he gave evidence against Whant in court.

During his evidence he had to revisit the awful scenes he witnessed on the morning of February 5, 2011, when his world fell apart.

He said: “It was just horrific, it was a nightmare that will never go out of my head. He (Whant) was with me driving back to the house, he was normal, the conversation was normal.

“Then he saw what I was seeing – the fire engines – he didn’t show anything to suggest it could have been him. He was cwtching me, and he had tears in his eyes. I broke my heart, I broke down, I did not know what had happened – she would have got out of there if it was just a fire.

“I couldn’t understand it, we had no enemies, I wasn’t in trouble with anyone.”

That morning Mr Mayes was arrested on suspicion of murder and arson and taken to Ystrad Mynach police station where he was kept for 13 hours.

“I was crying outside (the flat) by a police van and I could hear voices in the background. My mum wanted to take me home and the next moment I had two police officers, one said “Sorry to do this but we have got to arrest you”.

“I was crying my eyes out saying ‘that was my family,’ it was horrifying.

“It was just a blur to me, I came home that night in clothes police gave me and my boxers. I just broke down and did not leave the settee for six months.”

Mr Mayes said Whant’s behaviour was normal the night before the murder, when they went out drinking with friends in Newport.

They went on to a house party, but around 5am Whant said he was leaving to get cigarettes from his nan’s house. Mr Mayes asked to go with him and was refused. He said he found this odd but he could never have predicted what he would do.

He said: “Looking back that was a bit suspicious but I had no clue that he would do what he did. There was no indication. He had his jacket done right up to the top when he came back and his eyes were puffy, but it was a cold night. He went to sleep for two hours after as if nothing had happened – that makes me feel sick.”

Mr Mayes remembers the former bouncer visiting his house to leave flowers of condolence – something he also did at Miss Grender’s parent’s home. Days later he learnt the shocking news that he had been arrested for the crimes.

“I was absolutely gobsmacked, I just kept asking myself why? It was madness,” he said.

Mr Mayes said he knew Whant liked Miss Grender but he didn’t fully realise the extent of his fixation with her until the trial.

He said: “She was beautiful. A lot of people liked her – that’s how it was. I used to think he would never be able to get her because she was mine. He was my family and it wasn’t really something to bring up.”

Appeal judges say Whant is a danger

CARL Whant was convicted of rape, murder, arson, and child destruction in March.

He was given a life sentence, and was told he would have to serve 35 years before he could apply for parole.

Last week he appealed his conviction saying the minimum tariff was too long and argued that the killing of Kelsey-May should not have been considered an aggravating factor.

This was rejected by three appeal judges who branded him a “dangerous man”.