THIRTEEN days of screaming, shouting and arguing and then, by a miracle, it happened.

Cometh the hour, cometh the Bobby Davro.

His target was Celebrity Big Brother housemate Farrah Abraham, a vicious little madam from across the pond who’s constantly on the warpath and has made the series unbearable.

The man had had enough and, very calmly, delivered some home truths during face-to-face nominations that will go down in CBB legend.

“You are one of the ugliest people I have ever had the misfortune of sharing my time with.

“No amount of lip gloss will disguise the ugliness that lives inside you.

“I tried to understand why you are so venomous, why you have so much vileness inside you.

“It’s so dreadful to watch.

“Just try to control that anger and nastiness.”

It was heroic.

Finally, this show had struck gold.

And that was before Farrah’s furious comeback: “He’s full of Satan.”

For two weeks a good series had been trying to break out, only to be smothered at every turn by Farrah and fellow American nightmare Jenna Jameson’s confrontations with the house.

And the only people to blame are Channel 5 who failed to learn the lessons of sticking argumentative, vindictive horrors in there, like Perez Hilton and Helen Wood.

Hilton ruined the previous CBB, Wood the last two public versions.

But C5’s failure goes further. By choosing a UK v USA theme they shot it in the foot.

The last thing Farrah and Jenna need is encouragement to be tribal.

It’s made them gang up against others and spend all their time feeding each other’s volatility.

The frustration is that we’ve had glimpses of promise, like Davro’s zombified sleepwalk into X Factor couple Stevi Ritchie and Chloe Jasmine’s bed, ex-supermodel Janice Dickinson honestly believing she voluntarily “handed Cindy Crawford my crown”.

And likeable Fatman Scoop sniffing a mystery bra and declaring: “It’s Sherrie’s. I’m a breast expert in three countries,” and taking a cold shower when Big Brother turned off the hot water: “ Aww! AH! OH MAN! OH-OOH! MA-MAAN! ASS! OH-HOOH!”

And then, once he’d finished the lyrics to his 2003 number one hit Be Faithful, he turned the shower on.

But we’ve had too many spare parts, like Sherrie Hewson and The Bill’s Chris Ellison, attention seekers, like someone named Austin Armacost, and the too-fragile Gail Porter.

Dickinson is a sour-faced misery.

Stevi and Chloe’s needy, insecure displays of affection are sickening.

James Hill is still the arrogant numb-nut he was on The Apprentice.

And that lot will row over anything, from kosher red wine to the location of saucepans.

But never far away is the focus on Farrah whose default switch is this diary room rant after a row with Atomic Kitten’s Natasha Hamilton: “I was going to f***ing obliterate the f***ing scum in this f***ing house.

“I’m going to straight-up f***ing kill this whole f***ing house.

“I am so sick and tired of f***ing being bothered by scummy-ass f***ing negative people.

“Don’t f***ing p*** me off.

“And by the way, I love the British public.”

Well that’s won me over.

Spudulikes…

History channel’s Gangland Undercover.

Dave Gorman’s sublime Modern Life Is Goodish, on Dave.

Special Forces: Ultimate Hell Week.

Joselito Peralta’s X Factor-saving Copacabana performed like Goldie Cheung’s long-lost cousin.

Sky Sports’ Wales v Israel football commentary subtitles going all ’Allo ’Allo’s English policeman: “The visitors are licking set to go home with what they came for.”

The Chase question: “What transport was used on the English Channel for the last time in October 2000?” Contestant: “A boat.”

And Great British Bake Off’s Mel Giedroyc asking Alvin about his frangipane: “How do you fan your plums?” In the privacy of his own home, you’d hope.

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Spuduhates…

The sorriest ever looking Strictly line-up vanishing for three weeks.

Lady Chatterley’s Lover being about as raunchy as a Debenhams catalogue.

ITV booking Nancy Sorrell instead of Vic Reeves for Who’s Doing The Dishes?

X Factor burying “farmer” Hannah Kilminster’s past as a Britain’s Got Talent backing singer and lead soprano with Simon Cowell’s Il Divo.

C4’s disappointing fugitive-tracking Hunted not starting with Tommy Lee Jones telling his team to search “every warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse”.

BBC1’s The Queen’s Longest Reign: Elizabeth and Victoria airbrushing Princess Di and John Brown from history.

And The Wright Stuff choosing Abz from 5ive to discuss the Syrian refugee crisis: “There are no individual countries. We’re all one biological being. Let’s just hug, man.” Problem solved.