“THE pain never really goes away. People say that time is a healer or that you feel better in time but that isn’t true.

It really isn’t true. It’s not a healer because you never heal from that, it’s so shocking.

You learn to live with it and you adapt to it. That pain is there but you know it’s always there. You keep going for the sake of your loved ones.

You do because you have to and you do it for each other and my sisters and I do lean on each other, as well as my mum.

My dad Paul Titley committed suicide when he was 49. We as a family had no idea what had happened until his boss rang us to ask if anything was wrong because he had booked a random day off work.

Every morning you would wake up thinking it was some horrific nightmare but then you would have to go through it all over again

He wrote us all cards saying he knew we wouldn’t understand but he couldn’t take it anymore and that he had been fighting depression for a very long time.

I think my dad was ashamed that he couldn’t cope with whatever was going on in his head.

I want men to understand that they can talk about their feelings and they don’t have to hide them.

I have also struggled with my mental health. I had been really badly bullied through school since I was about five or six years old – physically bullied and mentally bullied. It was really nasty.

It got to a point where I had had enough myself and I did a massive suicide attempt. I died twice in hospital and they managed to bring me back. When I came round after a couple of days in the Gwent they told me they couldn’t understand how I had survived it.

At the time I was gutted it hadn’t worked because of my frame of mind and I had to do some time in The Priory in Bristol.

I came out and tried to get back into school but didn’t do very well. After a while I started to look at it as I had been given a second chance and there was a reason it hadn’t worked.

I got better and had treatment then got into work. I then went on to do a law degree. I was always academically good at school.

Then ten years after my suicide attempt I was then bereaved by suicide when my dad took his own life. I have been at both ends of the scale, I have an insight of what it’s like to be that person in a dark place but then also to be that person that has lost someone they love so much to the same thing.

There’s always an anniversary or there’s something. There’s Christmas, birthdays, Father’s Day… The anniversary of him passing away… In a month there is usually at least one event that reminds our family of him.

On Mother’s Day this year, we took my mum out to Cadbury House which is a place which is quite special to us as a family. In a conversation on the drive down I started telling them of a memory of my dad on our last family holiday.

Literally in a second all the emotion came flooding out and I was a mess.

Like I said, it’s always there but it is just under the surface. It’s quite hard to keep a lid on it. Every single day there is always something that reminds me of him.

Depending on my mood that day I can react differently to it – I can be smiling or happy or I can break down.

You can’t begin to explain it, but now I try to channel all my thoughts and feelings into helping other people in any sort of way that I can.

Going on This Morning for the Project 84 Campaign was amazing. Taking part in the campaign was wonderful.

It's so personal to people who have bereaved by suicide but its equally important to talk about it.

I am really humbled to have taken part in it. It has also actually gone world wide as well.

It's been in the Washington Post and the Boston Times and it's been on the media in China and Australia. It has gone everywhere, which is exactly what we and CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably)- who set up the campaign - want.

Going on This Morning was quite an experience. My sisters and I were so so nervous. When we met Phil and Holly they were lovely and met us feel at ease when talking about our experience.

It was really great and the response we have had has been phenomenal.

I have also just done an interview with ITV Wales which I'm really pleased with. The campaign is getting noticed now and that is exactly what we want.

It was quite overwhelming seeing the lifesize statues of 84 men when we got to the studio. It was a very harrowing exhibition and it needed to be really.

Going forward I will be speaking with CALM further about the future of Project 84 and how to keep the momentum going. We don't want it to be in the limelight for a week and then dying down.

Since appearing on This Morning we have received so many messages from people all over the UK. Messages of support, messages saying they have had a similar situation or are going through a bereavement by suicide at the moment... Lots of messages.

It really is a brilliant campaign. I cannot wait to see what happens next.

I want to stop people feeling like they don’t have anyone or that they can’t speak out.

That’s why I set up the Facebook page In Loving Memory of Paul Andrew Titley.

I’m sort of learning as I go around really. I have also just qualified as a mental health first aider at my work. It’s really good and there are companies all over the country who are starting to bring this role in.

I was obviously really passionate about it and asked if I could go on the course. I did a two day training course and everything I have already experienced helped me a lot.

It was a really good course and the information and what you bring back from it is helpful for everyone.

It’s completely confidential in work unless there’s an imminent danger to the person by themselves.

I can’t give advice but I can signpost people and perhaps help them speak to their boss or colleagues or anything like that.

More places should know about this as it is really helpful and it can help people understand mental health. I’m in the middle of sorting out a presentation at the moment to show to people at work that explains my role.

I just seem to be mental health everything – but it really is so important.

The main thing to remember is that there is no right or wrong.

Everybody is different and everybody experiences things in their own way. Everybody feels things differently and it’s important to know that there is no rule book."