To coincide with National Adoption Week, reporter NICHOLAS THOMAS visited South East Wales Adoption Service (SEWAS) to hear from families whose lives have been transformed by adoption and to find out about the challenges and misconceptions surrounding adoption.

SEWAS, based in Mamhilad, Pontypool, covers adoptions in the five Gwent local authorities. Each year, they support around 70 or 80 children in finding a new home.

SEWAS has helped people like David and Ryan become parents. The couple had always planned on having a family, and attended a coffee morning at SEWAS to find out more about the adoption process.

“We felt the child was at the centre of the focus here, it was very much on nurturing the child,” David said.

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At the coffee morning, David and Ryan met SEWAS staff, and were later invited back to attend a more detailed training course for prospective adopters.

“It opened up our understanding and reaffirmed adoption was what we wanted to do,” David said.

“We didn’t have to decide then, but there they tell you everything you need to know, and then you can decide if it’s for you or not.”

Shortly afterwards, David and Ryan decided adoption was for them, and began the process in earnest.

The support offered to them by SEWAS, they said, was invaluable.

“Everybody was there to guide us through the process,” Ryan said. “We were encouraged to have open, frank discussions. There’s no point trying to hide anything. There’s no pressure to be a certain way, or to give certain answers.”

Laura Patel, senior practitioner at SEWAS, said the services placed a great deal of emphasis on making adoptive parents comfortable at every stage of the process.

“We’ve tried very hard to make SEWAS a community,” she said. “There’s a lot of peer support.”

But while SEWAS has excelled at building this community for people already involved in adoption, service manager Sue Radford said the real challenge was getting more people to think about adoption and make that first contact.

Last week, the Argus reported that adoptions in Gwent were at a five-year low.

“It can be difficult talking about your personal circumstances,” she said. “People worry about being judged, but we aren’t here to judge.

“We need and want adopters, and we want to support people with that.”

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Common misconceptions surrounding adoption, she said, clouded the issue for many people.

“People think you have to be married, but you don’t,” she said. “You don’t need to own your own home, we welcome same-sex couples, and we welcome single adopters too.

“It doesn’t cost money, and if you have your own children, you can still adopt.”

David and Ryan encouraged other people interested in adoption to make contact with SEWAS.

“You just need to ask,” David said. “It’s important to demystify those myths.”

The couple completed the adoption process in January, and are now the proud parents of two brothers, aged four and one.

Their journey through the adoption process, they said, was emotional and at times challenging.

“It’s not an easy process, but what I always felt was that over this series of hurdles, you’ve always got a social worker with you,” Ryan said. “There are little bumps on the path but we were fully supported by everyone around us.

“I 100 per cent believe we ended up with the child we were meant to be with, and I would absolutely go through it 100 times again, just to be with our kids.”

David and Ryan remain in regular contact with SEWAS, and the service is keen on maintaining close ties with all its adoptive families, even years after the adoption process has finished.

“We also support families who’ve had children removed,” Ms Patel said. “To anyone who has been touched by adoption, we are here for you and we would like to hear from you.”

Ruth contacted SEWAS more than a decade after she adopted her daughter.

“When our daughter reached her teenage years, we needed help and I called SEWAS,” she said. “Somebody called back straight away and got our family history.

“I wish I’d done it before to be honest.”

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SEWAS hadn’t been founded when Ruth and her family adopted their daughter. She said she was amazed by the support and openness of the service – especially the sense of community and the chance to meet other adopters.

“They’ve helped hugely,” Ruth said. “I don’t know where I’d be without them – just to know there’s somebody there who gets it.

“If you feel on your own or you’re struggling, through coming here I’ve met fellow adopters and kept in touch with them.”

Ruth agreed with David and Ryan that adoption could be tough emotionally.

“It’s a challenging process,” she said. “That’s why it’s important to contact others who have been through it.

“Call SEWAS and ask if you can meet other adopters. I think at the time, it would have really helped us.”

To prospective adopters, Ruth gave the following advice: “Do your research, and don’t hesitate to get in touch and ask for advice. They’re so helpful and completely get it.

“It’s challenging, and it changes you – it definitely changed us as a family – so know as much as you can before going into it. It’s tough but amazing at the same time. It’s the best thing we’ve ever done, but the hardest at the same time.”

And David and Ryan said: “To anybody who’s ever thought about adopting, go ahead. It does change your life, and nothing else matters apart from you and your family.”

The names of the adoptive parents featured in this story have been changed

South Wales Argus:

SEWAS will host an information day for people who are interested in finding out more about adoption, at its offices in Mamhilad Park Estate, Pontypool, on Saturday, November 2, from 10am until midday.

If you are interested in attending, call SEWAS on 01495 355766 and book your place.

For more information about SEWAS, visit www.tinyurl.com/sewasadoption