'Amazing' help for Ebbw Vale mum after son took his own life

Distraught and struggling to cope with the enormity of what had happened, she was put in touch with the charity 2 Wish Upon A Star, which supports families trying to cope with the sudden death of a child or young adult.

Niall Worgan-Davies died aged 25 in January last year. Formerly a self-employed carpenter, and a "lovely, bubbly boy", says his mum, in November 2015 he suffered multiple physical injuries and a severe traumatic brain injury in a car crash.

Remarkably, he overcame the physical injuries, but the brain injury changed him to an extent he could never come to terms with.

Lisa Worgan-Davies received vital support from the 2 Wish Upon A Star charity after son Niall took his own life

Thirteen months on from Niall's death, Ms Worgan-Davies, who lives in Ebbw Vale, remains "absolutely distraught", struggling on bad days even to get out of bed.

But without the help of the charity, she cannot conceive of how much worse those months would have been.

"My solicitor told me about them, and without 2 Wish Upon A Star, God knows where I would be," she said Ms Worgan-Davies.

"They have been absolutely amazing. I can't put into words how I felt after Niall's death - even now I can't see anything positive in life - but without 2 Wish, I would have locked the door on the world.

"Becky Jones from 2 Wish, she was brilliant, she did a house visit, told me what they do, offered to set up counselling, and my counsellor has been fantastic.

"I was allocated 12 sessions through 2 Wish, and Niall's brother was offered 12 too."

Lisa Worgan-Davies with son Niall, shortly before his car crash in 2015

Founded in 2012, 2 Wish Upon A Star supports anyone in Wales affected by the sudden and unexpected death, including suicide, of a child or young person aged 25 or under.

And last September it launched a pilot project, called the 2 Wish Upon A Star Pilot - Supporting Families Bereaved by Suicide in Gwent, funded initially for a year, for those who have lost someone of any age who has taken their own life.

Ms Worgan-Davies came under the charity's remit anyway, as Niall was 25, but she believes the pilot project is vital.

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"Your child doesn't stop being your child just because they are over 25," she said.

"Having the funding to extend the age range in Gwent is really important, and I hope this can be extended further, because it is a lifeline for parents and families."

Ms Worgan-Davies’ counselling - fortnightly at first, then monthly, then as and when she felt she needed it - continued through the coronavirus pandemic, with the extra emotional and practical pressures of repeated lockdowns.

"Grieving the loss of a child is overwhelming enough, but in lockdown, it felt I couldn't get away from it, and that made things worse," said Ms Worgan-Davies.

"Counselling began before lockdown, and when lockdown came, I had Facetime sessions. I've only recently had my last one."

It has helped her through a series of 'firsts', including Niall's birthday in November, Christmas and New Year without him, and last month the anniversary of his death.

"There have been so many 'firsts'. I thought I was losing my mind," she said.

"They were very hard, but the build-ups were worse. Mentally, I was completely lost."

Ms Worgan-Davies is also a member of a private online family support group through 2 Wish Upon A Star.

"Grieving as a parent is completely different to any other. There are things you feel inside that you can't say to anyone else, no matter how close they are," she said.

"But in the group, we all relate to each other. I can't wait until Covid is over, because I've gained some lovely friends I would love to meet in person.

“The suicide of a child, a loved one, changes you completely. I’m not the same - but 2 Wish Upon A Star have helped so much. They are wonderful.”

Niall Worgan-Davies with the family dog, Doodles

Ms Worgan-Davies would also like the police to offer more support to those bereaved by the suicide of a family member.

"When Niall died, the police came and carried out all the formalities," she said.

"But if I had lost Niall in the crash, we would have had a family liaison officer, involved immediately.

"Because it was suicide, that didn't happen - and whether it is a child or an adult who has died, I believe the police should look into changing their procedures in these cases."

Known as the 2 Wish Upon A Star Pilot - Supporting Families Bereaved by Suicide in Gwent, the project lauded by Ms Worgan-Davies has received a significant amount of referrals since launching last September with the help of Welsh Government funding.

Supporting families dealing with immediate or historic deaths, it works closely with Gwent Police and partners of the Gwent Suicide and Self-Harm Prevention Group.

Rhian Mannings MBE, who set up 2 Wish Upon A Star in 2012

"We are dedicated to helping individuals and families impacted by suicide, and offer support and care during a very traumatic time for families," said 2 Wish Upon A Star chief executive Rhian Mannings.

"We have made great strides in raising awareness of our support within the Gwent area, but know there is still much work to be done to ensure all families suffering the loss of their loved one from suicide is offered our support.

"It is important families know they are not alone, and the feelings they are experiencing are often normal.

The project is managed by the bereavement charity 2 Wish Upon A Star

"We provide immediate support, memory boxes, counselling, group support and much more - and our support is not time limited, allowing access in your own time, to support the bereaved person and their family’s individual needs."

• If you live in Gwent, have been affected by the suicide of someone you love, and are looking for support, you can call 2 Wish Upon A Star on 01443 853125, or email support@2wishuponastar.org