Dear Dave - I am a divorcee with two children aged 23 & 19.

I have been going out with my girlfriend for 18 months and she has been putting pressure on me to have another baby (she's 10 years younger than me) and has even been hinting at marriage.

I don't feel ready to commit to marriage or a new baby yet but am really worried she'll go off me if I don't do what she wants. To make matters worse, my ex-wife keeps coming onto me and my daughter hates my girlfriend and just won't make the effort to get to know her properly.

I am being torn every way by this and really need some guidance to help me make the right decision. What I want to know is, should I ditch my girlfriend, go back to my wife and make life like it use to be?

Gareth.

Gareth,

Firstly, I don't think life will ever be the same again if you did decide to go back to your wife.

A divorce is an extremely emotional time for all parties concerned, but what I would want to know is why you and your ex wife divorced in the first place?

By knowing the reasons behind this we can then start to work backwards to try and work out what may be best for you.

You really need to ask what it is you want, so Gareth what do you want?

If its to return to your wife then you need to be straight and honest with your girlfriend, explain what your decision is and stick to it, though as I mentioned, I doubt that life will be like it used to be because of what you've both gone through so don't expect things to fall into place for you.

There will be lots of hard work ahead to re-establish what you had, and you need to be aware of that but you also need to be aware that it's what your wife wants as well.

However, if your desire is to stay with your girlfriend, then I only think its fair to her that you make some form of commitment.

Given that you have 2 children of adult age surely you must have some idea of where your future lies, but what you cannot do here Gareth is keep both women hanging on a piece of string and the sooner you decide the better.

Good luck, I sincerely hope you find happiness