WELCOME to the most depressing day of the year.
Old newspaper reports would have added - and that's official! But we don't stoop to those sort of cliches any more....do we?
A Cardiff psychologist has dreamt up a formula which makes today the most depressing. It's all about the post-Christmas bills coming in, winter weather, work grind - I won't bore you with the 'science'.
And, yes, it does feel depressing to those of us who seem to have had the norovirus for weeks, been rained on since time began and face a 15 per cent hike in our gas bills.
So, as you renew your intimate acquaintance with the Armitage Shanks, mop out your basements or try to work out your budget, here are just a few of the other things which are depressing me: * Those artist's impressions of new developments which show smiling, attractive people with aspirational lifestyles going about their daily business under impossibly blue skies. A far more honest impression would be care-worn folk who have rolled out of bed for another day's slog as a work slave gazing miserably up into a leaden sky wondering if they will ever see the sun again. Suddenly, that new building doesn't look so impressive, does it?
* That BBC weather woman, the blonde Scottish one who does the early morning forecasts, who gasps so much about the incoming rain front that I have to switch channels. For God's sake breathe, woman.
* Sports reports which say sportsmen or women "launched a verbal attack" on the referee. So they shouted a bit, then.
* Paul Burrell. Unctuous, sanctimonious, the perfect servant.
* People who say "cheer up, it might never happen". Imagine them tied to a stake in the desert without water. It will make you feel better.
* Duffy. Whiny, nasal, skinny white woman who will never be Aretha.
* Adverts for DFS or other sofa emporia whose sales take up nine months of the year. If I wanted a bleeding sofa, I'd go out and look for one.
* Rolling news channel 'experts' brought in after the latest air crash or major incident - all they really have to say is: "We don't know why it happened." Move on.
* People who are talking about the latest Alien V Predator film like it's going to rival Ingmar Bergman. I haven't seen it, but here is what the plot will be: lots of things get shot up or blown up. Save yourself £5.
* Tom Paulin on Newsnight Review. Does that man like anything?
Strangely, despite the fact I could still go on and on, all this venting makes me feel slightly better...
AND finally...
AFTER the Daily Mail's feature on Saturday about Diana and Hasnat Khan headlined: "What if she HAD married him?", how about: "What if the Mail HAD another story idea?"
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article