Living in the only twenty storey Tower Block in town has it's advantages and disadvantages. One of the advantages is that it has never been mistaken for Orthanc, which I am very grateful for. Waking up to an Ent throwing stones at my window would be a Very Bad Thing. One of the disadvantages is that it has never been mistaken for Orthanc, as I would love someone far below to point up at me and shout "Hey you, you wizard. Let me in!"
Of course, I wouldn't. That would contravene the Geneva convention, as well as letting in a draught.
I share this Tower with around 140 other people. I would never claim to know them all by name, and I am sure they would never claim to know mine. Some of them have even claimed they have no name, and could I make a suggestion please. The point I am making is that I am adrift in a sea of nameless people claiming they have no names. If this doesn't make sense, I haven't even started yet.
A neighbour two levels above me whom in the interests of confidentiality I will call 'Mrs X' but whose real name is Mrs Xavier Dante, met me in the lift this morning.
"Good morning!" I said, hanging up another shirt.
She eyed me suspiciously. "Other people have to use this lift you know. Can't you dry your clothes elsewhere?"
"It's the g-force," I explained. "When the lift goes up and down. Creates great currents."
"Have you seen the news," she said. "Two men who swam with a dolphin after a drunken night out have been found guilty of harassing it."
"Well it's the dolphin's fault for being drunk," I said. "It was probably swimming outside the lanes."
And on that note, I gathered my clothes together and exited the lift, leaving Mrs Xavier Dante to ponder upon the intricate subtleties of the subtext of my infusion.
At the time of writing, there is a window cleaner outside, cleaning my windows. Normally, after the second floor, he uses what I call in the interests of clarity 'A Dangly Window Cleaning Platform Thing For Tower Blocks'. On this occasion, he appears to be standing on the shoulders of the window cleaner who is cleaning the windows one storey below. And HE is standing on the shoulders of the guy below him. I hope the one at the bottom doesn't sneeze...
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