Emails are a bit like bloggers only more so (to nick an analogy). You check your in box a few times and nothing then ten turn up all at once. Some are your average run of the mill rubbish and a couple are like Argus blogs… things you actually want to read.

There’s always a couple from companies which you keep meaning to cancel but never get round to it. Sometimes there’s the one from a bank you aren’t with asking for all your details so they can update their records and nick your savings. At one stage I was on the mailing list for investment bankers coded tips… god knows, don’t ask. Some are actually from people I know although these often come with a health and safety warning like “If you don’t pass this email on to six people within five minutes your underwear will explode” or some such thing.
But what gets me is the emails you want to get, the ones you’re waiting for, invariably don’t turn up at all. I’ve been waiting two months to hear back from a literary agent… I’ve given up on him altogether. Then there’s the one from Scotts of Stow which was to tell me my order had been processed and they’d taken my money out two weeks before I get the goods.
Long story, but when you have chronic pain you’ll try anything, and they had some memory foam slippers. Seemed like a good idea at the time since I was hobbling round the house and it felt like I was walking on broken glass. Anyway, I ordered them… found out I already had an account online… no idea what or when I ordered before. We will send you a confirmation email shortly, it said. So I waited.
Two days later I got fed up of waiting and went online to check my account… “Your user name or password is incorrect” WTF! It was fine two days ago. I went to ‘contact us’ and did. Finally an email arrived to say, yes my order had gone through, sorry I hadn’t had an email and the reason I couldn’t log in to my account was because they had updated their system and I had to rejoin as a new member… and how was I supposed to know this? I should have had an email.
So the email I didn’t get would have told me how to find out if I should have had an email that I didn’t get… I think! These slippers had better be worth it.