THE sight that greeted me as I glided the inky canal could have come straight from an old Carry On movie.
A party of enthusiastic but totally perplexed Japanese tourists were crammed into a gondola, festooned with state-of-the-art cameras and video recorders.
Accompanied by a passionate Italian accordionist, they were valiantly singing a medley of songs from The Sound of Music in broken English.
Inches away, another gondolier was desperately trying to keep to the tune of O Sole Mio. Life on these hectic waterways really shows that despite being a city steeped in history and culture, Venice can be and is all about fun.
The Fondamenta Orseolo, where we cheered the musical mayhem, resembles the M25 in rush hour.
It also gives you a chance to applaud the skills of the colourful gondoliers as they pass one another, separated, it seems, by a lick of paint, with deft wiggles of their single oars. An hour's hire of a gondola costs around £40 after haggling, and you'll pay about a tenner for a tenor!
The watery interludes are ideal for courting couples. The discreet gondoliers take them round the quieter canals where they are less likely to hear a joker bellowing 'Just one Cornetto...'
By day, Venice buzzes. Tourists flock like pigeons around St Mark's Square, and select cafs add to the mix with their own string quartets. They try to time their pieces to avoid clashing with the bells of dozens of churches ringing out the hours.
Later, though, in the gathering gloom, the city's bars and restaurants come to life. Our guide told us to watch for green lamps illuminating an ostaria, a traditional bar, filled with happy Venetians enjoying a barcaro - their version of a pub crawl - and taking a small glass of wine, an ombra.
We found the perfect watering- hole, at Ostaria al Diavolo L'Aquasanta in Calle della Madonna, near Rialto, where shared plates of fried fish and tuna cost £6. A word of warning: nightlife in this pearl of the Adriatic tends to fizzle out at around midnight.
One way to explore the charming island lagoons is, like my party, to hire your own British-built cruiser.
I promise there is no better view of the haughty bell towers, spires and cupolas of this unique ancient city than from behind the wheel of your own motorboat.
Although you are not allowed to enter the Grand Canal you can chug along within yards of it. Then you can moor at the marina in Sant Elena for around £30 a night and stroll into the centre to look around its four palaces, 28 churches and 22 museums.
The beauty of having your own boat is that it gives you the freedom to visit the other islands in the Venetian lagoon.
We flew into Treviso, 20 miles from Venice, and explored this city of 500,000 people built on the Sile (pronounced seelay) river.
The city is home to the Benetton fashion family, who have spent millions preserving its buildings and supporting its sports teams.
Try the excellent La Colunna restaurant, on the Via Campana, which provided a delicious four-course meal with wine for around £20 a head.
At Treviso we were just three miles from Casier, where we collected our floating home, The Connoisseur Magnifique. Built in Wroxham, Norfolk, she sleeps up to ten in luxury and is simple to operate.
Our first stop was Torcello, and we explored Santa Maria Cathedral, built in 639 and restored in 1008 in Venetian-Byzantine style.
Nearby the open-air Ristorante Al Trono Di Attila has a reputation for top-class food at top-class prices.
After Venice we headed for the island of Murano, world famous for its exquisite glassware. At the Vetreria Murano Arte on Calle San Cipriano, we were given a demonstration of the glassblowers' craft and the opportunity to buy their wares. Prices range from a few pounds to something that could seriously dent your finances.
We finally visited the island of Burano, where picturesque houses line the canals in contrasting shades of pastel. At the Da Romana Trattoria on Via Galuppi four generations of the Barbaro family have entertained the great and the good with their exquisite dishes - and not a Cornetto in sight!
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