IF YOU are currently planning a big wedding, imagine the seating arrangement for Prince William and Kate Middleton, who have 1,900 guests.

Seated in the front pews at Westminster Abbey will be the Queen, the Duke of Edinburgh, the Prince of Wales, Duchess of Cornwall and best man, Prince Harry.

Alongside them will be Kate's parents, Michael and Carole Middleton, Kate's sister and maid of honour, Pippa, and her brother James.

There will be around 40 foreign royals, representatives from the Commonwealth, Prince William's charities and the armed services and members of the cabinet.

About 600 relatives, friends and dignitaries are invited to the lunchtime reception hosted by the Queen at Buckingham Palace. There is also another party in the evening, including a dinner for 300 of the couple's close friends.

Posh and Becks have apparently already received their wedding invitation - a white card gilded with gold in a pale brown envelope.

The Queen's initials are die-stamped in gold on the card below a crown.

Just so you know. Just in case one appears through your letter box.

Of course, Prince Harry will be the best man. Can't wait to hear that speech.

Obviously, the Middleton's aren't picking up the bill for this one. The family is also poised to benefit from the event through its internet company Party Pieces, whch is said to be stocking up with red, white and blue bowler hats and corgi cake-toppers.

AND finally...

I SAW a piece yesterday which brought back childhood memories for me.

It was in a right-wing paper, and was the predictable diatribe against government departments spending thousands on the services of Urbanwalks, a company which gives staff walking routes to encourage them to spend their lunch hours taking gentle exercise instead of sitting in a pub or cafe.

Surely that would help reduce obesity, the strain on the NHS it provides, and help with a myriad of other health issues? Not just harmless, but money well spent?

Ah, but the problem here is that Urbanwalks gives folk tips on how to walk.

It advises walkers to keep their heads centres and in line with their spins, and to ensure a natural arms swing.

It also tells staff that the 'heel should always touch the ground first with each stride, then the ball of the foot, then the toes - in that order."

The Taxpayers' Alliance called it 'patronising codswallop'. Anyone who has had a parent in the services will probably have had the benefit of their parade ground training passed on to them, just as we did.

Oh, those heady childhood days being told exactly how to walk like small soldiers.

Government staff, I feel your pain.