NO it's not a pathetic attempt to draw you into my blog. It's true.

Cornish man Stephen Kay lost that amount after having three bowls of hot broth a day.

He had weighed 31.5 stone.

I mean, fair play to the tubb-meister. It must have taken a hell of a lot of will power to stay off the pasties and Big Macs.

It's a shame more don't take a leaf out of his book.

I saw some bloke in the pub yesterday. He was like Rick Waller - but ten times bigger.

His T-shirt must have been at least an XXXXXXX large size - and it still didn't fit properly.

You could see his gut hanging over his trousers, like some walrus dangling over the edge of the ice.

He was about 40 years old. I doubt he'll see his 45th.

I just couldn't understand how he got that way.

I've heard all the excuses - and here they are in no particular order;.

"I'm just big boned"

"I have a thyroid problem"

"I'm addicted to lard"

I'm sure the big bloke at the bar was lovely. And I'm sure he was a lot of fun to be with as rotund gentlemen tend to be.

But please. Someone have a word. If you see someone large today just have a whisper in their shell-like.

And give them a packet of Oxo.

PS - Hello to my reader in Cheshire. I've never had a fan before!