TODAY will be a difficult day for me because it could well be my last match for Newport County.
It’s a situation I’ve been in before at different clubs but it obviously means more to me this time because it’s my hometown club.
It will be strange but I won’t be the only player thinking about their future.
We’ve got to try to put that out of our minds and concentrate on ending the season on a high.
After that it’s a case of ‘Que Sera, Sera’ – whatever will be, will be.
I’ll sit down with the gaffer early next week and sort out where we go from there.
As I said last week I think it’s a positive that he hasn’t dismissed the idea of changing his mind about me going and I still think I’ve got a lot to offer as a player.
I think the gaffer knows that as well and he knows that I’ve got the interests of the club at heart and I want us to succeed, whether I’m playing or not.
But I hope I’ve done enough on the pitch to prove I’m worthy of a new deal and I haven’t even thought about looking for another club.
Nobody is going to sign anybody in May because they don’t want to pay the wages and a lot of them don’t know what league they’re going to be in.
It’s an awkward situation when you’re out of contract and, as much as you’re used to it, it’s not a good situation.
The clubs hold all the cards at this level, especially towards the end of your career, but I’ll always back myself.
I believe I’ve still got something left in the tank and something to offer and if it’s not here then it’ll be somewhere else.
I’m taking my coaching badges but I still enjoy playing and you’re a long time retired so I definitely want to carry on playing for as long as I can.
Nobody can take anything for granted. A couple of players have got their deals for next year but it’s still up in the air for lots of us so there’ll be a few looking to make an impression today.
And as a club we want to kick on from this season and improve next year. We’ll be looking to finish in the top half next season and push for the play-offs.
We won’t be facing Rochdale next year and that’s a plus because I’ve always said they are the best side in the division.
They were exceptional when they beat us 3-0 up there and I’ve spoken to players at other clubs who say the same thing.
I picked them to win the league and I hope I’m wrong now because it will mean we’ve done a decent job today.
Keith Hill has done a great job but we won’t make it easy for them to win the league today. We want to give them a real test.
I’ve got a few friends from my time up north coming down for the game. They’re big Rochdale fans and it’ll be good to see them but hopefully we’ll just put a bit of a dampener on their promotion party.
We want our fans to be celebrating this afternoon as well because they’ve been superb this season, even when we went through a bad patch.
It’s very frustrating when things aren’t going right and, believe me, we weren’t enjoying it either!
So I’d like to say a big thank you to the fans from all the players for sticking by us and continuing to support us home and away and on and off the pitch.
I’ve been really pleased to get support personally as well with people telling me they hope I stay.
I really appreciate that and hopefully this column will be back in August with me still in a County shirt.
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