BEARING in mind that he sounds Scottish and is Northern Irish, spent most of his career in England and is now based in Wales, I’m making Brendan Rogers a shoe-in for Team GB football coach, ticking as he does each and every political box.
Because if anyone is under any illusion that this farcical situation with the Team GB football side is anything other than political, more fool you.
If you are labouring under the misapprehension that anyone involved in the railroading of the home countries’ football associations actually has a passionate vision for a united Britain on the football field, more fool you.
And lastly, if you truly believe that Tuesday’s “historic agreement,” was an indicator that a united Team GB is on the cards, well, you get my drift.
I’ve banged this drum before and make no apologies for doing it again. The concept of a Team GB football side at the Olympics is ill conceived, unnecessary, disruptive, potentially damaging on a massive scale and above all else, a political points scoring exercise.
But that’s just the concept. What of the announcement on Tuesday made by the BOA (British Olympic Association) in conjunction with the FA that essentially stated, “It’s all good chaps and thanks to the Celtic lot for being so gracious about it.”
Except they weren’t and never will be, the announcement so arrogant and misleading it is truly staggering.
What they are saying is, we’ve found out that legally there is nothing you can do to stop this, so it’s just tough. They have administrative rights in this situation dating back to the 1950s and have taken advantage.
The BOA and the FA have an agreement and the other associations have acknowledged in writing that they appreciate they can’t legally prevent their players from playing. It’s far from a blessing and far from a cordial, ‘historic’ agreement. The statements from the BOA and FA have more spin than a summer with Shane Warne and Graeme Swann.
The reaction of the Welsh, Scottish and Northern Irish FAs was unilateral. Anger.
This isn’t a complex issue for any of them, the basis of their concern never changing. They don’t want anything to do with a Team GB because they believe it threatens their status as independent football nations.
Even Jonathan Ford, a veritable supporter of FIFA in these last few turbulent months, doesn’t seem to trust Sepp Blatter giving his word that a united Team GB is cool by him. No ramifications he promises. Unsurprisingly, his word carries little weight with the worried FAW and likewise in Scotland and Northern Ireland.
Surely we are all at least agreed that in a world where San Marino are a footballing nation, Wales should be too? We might be at an almost all-time low at the moment, but the next Paul Bodin campaign of glorious failure is just around the corner and worth waiting for.
However, despite the possible ramifications, if the issue on the table was worth taking seriously, perhaps things would be different. But the juice definitely isn’t worth the squeeze, to coin a term.
In other words, the Olympics, in terms of football, is a joke.
For a start, give me a break talking about making the side “fair and non discriminatory,” because as an U23 event with a limit on over age players, it’s already discriminatory.
Give me a break talking about winning a gold medal too. If there is a desire to win gold, pick the best possible side. That means Wayne Rooney, Steven Gerrard and John Terry as the over age players, Gareth Bale as the sole non-Englishman, no David Beckham and everyone else coming from the England U21s and above.
The Micah Richardses, Andy Carrolls and Jack Wilsheres of this world, you know, the ones who couldn’t be bothered to play in the Euro U21s, a football tournament that actually does have some meaning and prestige.
But that won’t happen. Because this is entirely political, a proportion of the announced squad (not the ones who will actually play) will come from all four nations involved. With the likes of Chris Gunter, Wayne Hennessey and Aaron Ramsey all U23, Wales can at least contribute.
But in terms of the overall squad, tokenism will only hinder how competitive it is overall. How many Northern Irish U23 players currently look like gold medal winners to you?
I’ve already written about the timing of the Olympics, the fact that it clashes with pre-season and Champions League qualifiers. Try telling Liverpool or Spurs it’s just tough that Gerrard or Bale might not be available for a multi-million pound qualifier for the world’s most lucrative football competition and see how they respond.
I keep hearing the words legacy and prestige in conjunction with this tournament, but I don’t see the evidence.
If this is a prestigious event, why last time out did the best player in the world, Lionel Messi, get pulled out by Argentina? Why don’t the sides who win the World Cup win the Olympics very often?
And more importantly, why is it that while some events are massively oversubscribed, sales of football tickets have been lukewarm at best?
Funny how the “historic announcement,” came mere days before Olympic football tickets were readied for resale. The British public has spoken. They don’t care. I don’t think many little Jimmys and Jennys will be begging their dads to take them to see Belgium U23s versus their Hungarian counterparts.
Which leaves us at an almighty impasse.
There is no prospect of this matter simply going away because too many politicians and powerbrokers are too invested in the concept. This idea has had support in the House of Commons for years and it won’t be long before David Cameron becomes the second successive Prime Minister to bang the drum for a united Team GB football side.
There is no legal basis for the FAW to stop the likes of Gareth Bale reporting for duty, and having already indicated a willingness to play, one would have thought the die was cast.
Except it won’t be, because the FAW, like their Scottish and Irish counterparts, will put enormous pressure on their players not to play. Unfortunately, the players will just be pawns in political posturing.
They won’t give this up and they won’t co-operate, particularly now that they all feel blindsided by a statement implying their support when it wasn’t forthcoming.
Britain will have a football team at the Olympics, but all the players will be English. Club power will ensure it’s by no means the strongest side available and as ever, the tournament will pass with most genuine football fans giving it a fleeting glance but worrying far more about pre-season friendlies and transfer rumours.
If I’ve come across as a party pooper for those armchair fans forlornly hoping for a proper Team GB side because it will be different or interesting, I would counter that I am merely presenting a realistic view.
I love football and I love the Olympics. But they don’t belong together.
So when the tournament kicks off with Stuart Pearce as the coach, David Beckham as the captain and not a single Celtic player in sight, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
The legacy of this whole farce will be nothing more than fantastic material for them to use in an episode of the Thick of It.
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